Saturday, June 9, 2007
Mental Vomit
Saturday morning and my mind is anything but at ease from the thoughts that have seeped into my brain while i sleep. Have i been doing what i was put here to do on earth? Am i happy conitnueing to fight a fight that i really have no passion to achieve the ending goal? Is it the people i love to be close to, the people who have the same disorder i do, searching mercifully to fill a void that is almost unattainable to fill. I think I lost my smile in the void that has now consumed so much of my thought process. I want to do so much but what is it i want to do? Where is my passion? I was left my amibition, motivation and drive but where i am driving to? Along this path i have seen and felt things i could never forget and each new experience is another eye opener to where i do and dont want to be in life. No one can really help you make any decision well i guess not in my life. No matter what anyone says even it if makes complete sense its not even a dent in my mind set even if my my mind isnt really set on anything in particular. So many people in the world are trying to fight eachother to get ahead ,the rat race they call it, is there a place where this doesnt exist? I see as time goes on and my eyes continue to open my drive and my wants are changing no longer do i want the name brand bags or clothes just for the status bump of carring such an expensive accesory to hang off of my bones. I think i found my smile in someone elses eyes when i see myself in the reflection of his iris i feel perfect, beautiful and lose my sense of insanity of what direction my life has come to. Im listening to softer music no need to aggrivate the rage that already subsides in my belly.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I think its natural that you call into question the foundations of civility and your own passion, especially since it may appear as if some of those foundations have gone missing. Some perhaps, have toppled with time, others still exist and can not be shrouded for long by anyone.
When it comes to professional progress, we’re all proceeding in a blind way. A choice and course of action should be taken at the Y in the road, even if both roads lead to unknown or unpleasant places. Staying put is the worst option and carries dangers of its own. There will be Y’s down the road that will have good choices, but you’ll never get to them unless you take the blind course now. A similar approach should be taken regarding the emotional and mental state of a person. As with a broken heart, time heals all wounds. The best solution for both is to trudge on; proceeding is the only way out of a funk. In your case, I think an eventual change in environment would change your perspective quite a bit.
There are places where people act more like jerks than in other places. As I alluded to in my last blog response, its best to avoid those places and people. Professional environments are respectful environments. Being in a non-professional environment is like paying a price that’s way too high. There’s always another way. There’s always a new way of doing something that no one has thought of.
It almost doesn’t mater which direction you go, as long as you pursue something. They say the average person changes careers 8 times in their life, each experience adding to and giving lift to the next. I know you will find satisfaction and respect in what ever you pursue.
"do what you like best
my dad always used to say, do what you would do even if you didn’t get paid for it. if you want to be successful in something you have to really like what you are doing. if you pick something just for the financial gain, you’ll get tired of it pretty quick."
found that on
http://www.43things.com/
Caught the last ten minutes of this guy on the John Ziegler show last night. Some of the insights seemed like would work for me.
http://a1135.g.akamai.net/f/1135/18227/1h/cchannel.download.akamai.com/18227/podcast/LOSANGELES-CA/KFI-AM/Ziegler0614078P.mp3?CPROG=PCAST&MARKET=LOSANGELES-CA&NG_FORMAT=talk&SITE_ID=616&STATION_ID=KFI-AM&PCAST_AUTHOR=KFI_AM_640&PCAST_CAT=Arts_and_Entertainment&PCAST_TITLE=JOHN_ZIEGLER
//
if link doesnt work, its the 8:00pm 6-14 show for zielger
at following link
http://www.kfi640.com/cc-common/podcast.html
I always wished I could’ve been the one to help you on this journey we call life, to take those roads together and find the passion in our lives. I was always that one person you could turn to and talk to, who would support you through anything. I thought it was my eyes you saw yourself in and saw what I saw, the most beautiful amazing person in the entire world. My world has been shattered, it’s not me who you found your smile with and now I’ve lost mine, along with all my hopes and dreams and I’m nothing but an empty shell.
If our paths in life ever cross again, I’d be there for you one more time….standing by your side and supporting you like I’ve done so much already
Post a Comment