5:15

Everyday in some haunting way
My eyes meet the clock at 5:15

The time I realized, time well spent
It is now time, it’s time I went

They say when they clock reads your birthday
You can make a wish
I wish to never see this time again

Everyday in some malicious way
The world reminds me of the time I’ve wasted

The time I realized, time to move on
5:15, it’s like a repeating song

Everyday is some fucked up way
My eyes meet the clock at 5:15

I did it, I quit it and
My dashboard will no longer get the best of me

Just Being Honest

I binge and purge thoughts of you
And the evil things you do
I let the sickness stew until I puke
I’m just being honest

When you’re gone I finger the peanut butter
And leave all the lights on
You think you know me better….ha
Just being honest…

I never wash the coffee maker
And I kick all the crumbs under the stove
If you knew, there would not be laughter
But I’m rolling on the floor…..I’m just being honest

You said you’d love me no matter what
I bet if you knew you’d be a liar
They say honesty’s the best bet
I bet their wrong

Just being honest

SHIT out of LOVE

The way the light hits your face
Such a sad reminder our try ended in disgrace
Hard to believe we aren’t right for each other

I remember how you felt when I let you in
The time we laughed on the beach in the rain
The face you make when you’re really listening

We kept trying knowing it wasn’t right
You said you were in love with me
Didn’t your mother tell you Love is a fight?

Remember when we watched the fire?
From the top of the hill on sunset
When it got too close we ran
Unconscious foreshadowing of our desire

I wish we were right for each other
Sick contradiction of life
I’m not sure why I bother

Mrs. Ehres

An old woman once told me
Don’t let work get in the way of you life
At any other time that would have rolled off my back
But not today, not this mood, her words pierced my heart like a knife

Just like the songs you’ve heard a million times
A heartfelt harmony, a well written melody
But when heard at the right time can change your mind

So old and so genuine
Life is brittle but her heart is strong
Her mind is set as clarity begins
Suddenly I see …my youth has led me wrong

Closet

I’m sitting in our closet
In the corner way in the back
Wondering what my life is worth
And what my being lacks

This is the only room in the apartment that I feel is mine
Your clothes are always in here
But In here I feel that I control time

This closet is my confessional
To release all the thoughts in my head
To remember I’m a professional
Even with my passion dead

I look at the material things that line these walls
None of which a necessity
That’s not why I am in here at all

I’m sitting in our closet
In the corner way in the back
For what its worth, for what I lack
I’d like to melt into the floor

You knock and slide a note under the door
I don’t respond
It simple says “I love you”
You’re still not coming in….

Bruises

These bruises are only skin deep to you
Out of sight out of mind, ya think?
These bruises are steep
Those hands can be so horribly unkind

Scars of a time of release
Helped me forget the pain I keep
Such a distortion of belief

Are you trying to crack these bones?
Is there something you seek?
This is your solution to fix me
Hate is more then skin deep

These bruises run straight through
Dissolved on the surface
They still come back when I see you

It’s not my fault, you made your mark
You made this permanent
Knew exactly what you were doing
My skin is connected to my heart

Mental Vomit

Saturday morning and my mind is anything but at ease from the thoughts that have seeped into my brain while i sleep. Have i been doing what i was put here to do on earth? Am i happy conitnueing to fight a fight that i really have no passion to achieve the ending goal? Is it the people i love to be close to, the people who have the same disorder i do, searching mercifully to fill a void that is almost unattainable to fill. I think I lost my smile in the void that has now consumed so much of my thought process. I want to do so much but what is it i want to do? Where is my passion? I was left my amibition, motivation and drive but where i am driving to? Along this path i have seen and felt things i could never forget and each new experience is another eye opener to where i do and dont want to be in life. No one can really help you make any decision well i guess not in my life. No matter what anyone says even it if makes complete sense its not even a dent in my mind set even if my my mind isnt really set on anything in particular. So many people in the world are trying to fight eachother to get ahead ,the rat race they call it, is there a place where this doesnt exist? I see as time goes on and my eyes continue to open my drive and my wants are changing no longer do i want the name brand bags or clothes just for the status bump of carring such an expensive accesory to hang off of my bones. I think i found my smile in someone elses eyes when i see myself in the reflection of his iris i feel perfect, beautiful and lose my sense of insanity of what direction my life has come to. Im listening to softer music no need to aggrivate the rage that already subsides in my belly.