AMR

This feeling has gotten comfortable
as much as I am trying to resist
it's killing me
maybe its for the best
as much as I thrive off of this
I just cant survive like this
it's killing me
draining me
ready to call it quits
my heart can't beat this fast forever
and I'm already short of breath
my hands are shaking
I've had more then enough
put my body to rest
I'm doing my best
it's killing me
I'm trembling. shaking
cant hold these bones still
my skin is rumbling
mumbling and crawling
help me, I swear I'm alive
It's killing me and I dont want to die

ALl

come back to me
its hard to for me to see
how could you not miss me?

I find myself chasing ambulances
show me death or a sign of life
my heart is contenplating advances
on this gloomy night

driving along the ridge
hoping to find you there
this is the first time i didn't burn this bridge
and it's giving my thoughts a good scare

come back to me
I know its hard to be
anything that comes easy about me

hoping for a car crash
a last chance at life
don't pull the plug just yet
I wont give up this fight
I'm looking for you

hoping its you at the door
I do a double take at all the white cars
I'm not ready to give up on something so pure

Come back to me
Its hard for me to see
how you could be so cold to me.

May I June?

Being ignored in a crowded room is a humbling feeling.
After a rough day weeding through limbs that have grown on my life
Counting the popcorn on my ceiling
My heart has gone on a hunger strike.

Surrounded by words too weak to stand on
Hearts not worth the break
Trying to figure out what went wrong

Not lost but numb at all costs
My body is trying to kill itself
Not drunk but sauced
Feeling my feelings melt

Surrounded by empty words
Empty friends and a forgotten verse
My body is getting lighter and my skin is getting whiter
Choking and suffering in this lonely curse.

So many bodies and so little blood
I don’t want to waste my time on you
Forgotten art of love
Too bad I have nothing else to do

Take Down

Dark bring me clarity
A sense of comfort in disguise
A spark for some charity
This blanket I despise

Peer through windows
Double check doors
Lost the strength
To let go anymore

Fear of Awkward
Can’t see me perspire
Just takes one noise
For me to inspire

Feel you watching me
Pretending your not there
Force myself to come to peace
With the intrusive fear

Tell myself I’m not scared
Quickly try to prepare

Light is too dim to
Hold back this dark

My Problems

I don’t know how I’ve become such a problem
I hate what I see
Nothing seems to be conducive about anything to do with me

A strong building with a cracked foundation
Trying desperately to fill myself in
Welcoming only wrecking balls in

Face is bruised
From the broken promises I’ve spewed

I don’t know how I’ve built such a problem
I hate what I see
Nothing is easy about me

Holy house in the middle of a land fill
Trying desperately to stay pure
Preaching to the garbage
Convincing myself I’m sure

Skin is scarred
From the bridges I’ve burned

I don’t know how I’ve grown such a problem
I hate what I see
Thriving to be unstable…You’ll see

Sunday Afternoon Coffee

The truth is, I like being alone and having space to stretch my arms
I hate the way my mind moves when it’s alone like it has been attention starved

I haven’t been sleeping well I keep having awful reminders of previous hate
I get scared to think your mind is not something you can ever escape

I am surrounded by men but the one I am with pays me no attention
Can I do better then this? I think I can do better then this.

I have a constant feeling that I am wasting my time
How could it be better spent? I wish something would give me a hint

Would you miss me if I was gone? Better yet
Would I miss you….

They Say..

They say you can only go as fast as the person in front of you
I say for your own good, get the hell out of my way
They say you are a product of your surrounds & you are who you hang with
I say I have no friends & am alone all the time, does not mean I am nothing
They say practice what you preach
I say practice before you attempt to teach.